


A Star to the Promise Jar

by Jas1922



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Domestic, Alternate Universe - War, Happy Ending, Kid Sehun, Let's pretend the Korean War was in the 70s instead of the 50s, M/M, Mentions of Physical Disabilities, No graphic descriptions of war scenes, There's a short smut scene, Yes Sehun is Kaisoo's Child, mentions of chanbaek, not mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-08
Updated: 2018-01-08
Packaged: 2019-03-02 02:57:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13308978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jas1922/pseuds/Jas1922
Summary: Jongin had promised he will return home safely from the war.





	A Star to the Promise Jar

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly one of the hardest fic I've written. So many things happened during these past months and I struggled a lot for inspiration. Hope you guys can enjoy reading this. Thank you to the mods for hosting this fest!

 

**September 1973**

 

You know the whole ‘glass half full, half empty’ saying, and how it is said to reflect one’s level of optimism?

 

Kyungsoo cocks his head to the side and continues staring in a quiet daze at the jar sitting in a corner of his living room. 

 

_ So is this half full or half empty?  _ He asks himself.

 

He’s hardly a pessimist, but at this point, Kyungsoo decides the space within definitely appears more depressing.

 

He hopes if he squints, the number of origami stars in the big glass will appear more than they look.

 

It’s beautiful from afar, Jongin’s promise jar — the jar wrapped in fairy lights, and the stars within it each a promise; a promise of love, of longing, of eventual homecoming. But as the days go by and the numbers dwindle, the promise Jongin had made before he had sent him off doesn’t ever feel like it’s going to be fulfilled.

 

_ “Pick out a star a day. I wrote a message in each one. Don’t worry so much, Soo. I’ll be back before you know it. I’ll be back before the stars run out.” _

 

Except, it has been close to three years. His husband hasn’t been home in three years.

 

The number of stars are running out.

 

Although South Korea is on the other side of the Pacific from Fiji, the divide between them is far deeper than their regular phone calls can suggest because Kyungsoo can hear whenever they chat how gruff Jongin’s voice has gotten; how wearied he must appear now, even though the other always tries to disguise it behind his laughter and the bad reception on his chunky military phone.

 

Well, many can argue at least his husband is alive and contactable. Who knows how many have already lost their loved ones to the war?

 

Kyungsoo wakes up every day afraid that a missed call from Hanyang Hospital, the dedicated medical facility of the Republic of Korea Armed Forces, will be waiting for him on his bedside table. The bearer of bad news. 

 

If it really comes, it will break his heart; shatter him into pieces.

 

He had saved the extra numbers the Armed Forces gave to family members out of worry. Now he regrets sowing the seed of fear he had planted within. The nightmares Kyungsoo battles every night sets the countdown to that dreaded missed call.

 

The drawn-out war back in their homeland is taking its toll on both him and his husband. Their distance apart is taking a toll on them. 

 

Kyungsoo misses being able to touch Jongin, to hold him close, and to kiss him dear. No matter how often they whisper their “I love you”s over the phone, it always doesn’t seem enough.

 

 

***

 

 

**October 1970**

 

It was inevitable that Jongin would join the war. Born into a family with values and history rooted deep in serving their country, he and his older brother, Jongdae, had both voluntarily re-joined the military when the hint of impending war emerged and the call out was made to all healthy males to serve.

 

Their father was the retired Commanding General, well-known for his remarkable leadership and unrivalled strategies. When the old man went back to the Armed Forces, the two brothers barely hesitated following in his footsteps. To uphold the family's honour was it?

 

In the months leading up to the war on the continent, their day followed the routine of waking up, having breakfast, then Kyungsoo sending Jongin off to the camp on the opposite end of Busan before returning home to write.

 

He was a budding novelist; one content with writing cliché romances. There’s always something about a happy ending that gets him, even though he knows reality often differs in fate.

 

Jongin will trudge back when the sun falls over the horizon and melt in Kyungsoo’s arms, completely spent. But he knows the Captain looks forward to the end of the day, to coming home to a delicious meal cooked with his husband’s love.

 

It’s a simple life, a simple love.

 

It’s enough.

 

Kyungsoo’s content.

 

Soon, Jongin and his brother were rising rapidly through the ranks during training. Their achievements show of their natural talent to succeed their father, which accorded them well-deserved titles as Captains within mere months.

 

Kyungsoo respected Jongin’s decision to rejoin the Armed Forces, and he was proud of Jongin for becoming the leader he was meant to be. But more importantly, he was also worried of what responsibilities and risk come with such power.

 

And true enough, when the declaration of war came almost a year after, he learned he had to let Jongin go; the latter was to be sent up North — to the frontline of battle. 

 

 

***

 

 

"Is there really no chance the North will see reason and stop the fight before more people die?" Kyungsoo asks exasperatedly, turning in his spot and trailing after Jongin as the latter rushes around their home, retrieving belongings and returning to their bedroom to deposit the weight in his arms where a huge luggage is left waiting on their bed.

 

"Their leader has already ordered the breach of our border. They are coming, Soo. It’s only a matter of time. We are no longer safe. I need to keep you and Sehun safe. You must go."

 

As much as he is a good servant to his country, Jongin holds his Kyungsoo and their son above all else.

 

They had watched the news through their old television a few hours back. Despite the grainy display and foul audio, the headline on the screen spoke for itself. Their country is no longer safe, and Jongin knows they are at risk even down here in Busan, hundreds of kilometers away from the border.

 

"But what about you? I'm not leaving the country without you."

 

Jongin turns around when Kyungsoo's voice starts to crack and he steps closer to wrap his arms around the latter.

 

"Don't cry, my love," he whispers. "You know I can't leave. I have a duty to stay and protect our land and peace. My men and I will be marching up to Seoul to join hyung’s troops tomorrow. It has been decided. Father has asked for me."

 

“But I made a vow at our wedding to always stand with you, to always stay by you. Through thick and thin, I will always protect the love we share — so is the duty my heart and mind will me to uphold.” Kyungsoo takes a pause from crying into Jongin’s shoulder to lean back and stare up into his favourite hazel eyes.

 

Eyes that, of course, stare right back at him; pained in expression because he knows his husband’s words carry weight. 

 

Jongin had made the same vows afterall.

 

“H-How about—” Kyungsoo’s really just trying to find excuses now, even though he knows whatever he says his husband has already made his decision and will not waver. “What a-about I stay put here in Busan? At least I-I’ll still be close to you, yet far from the—”

 

“You’re getting on that last plane out to your brother’s place tomorrow, and that’s final,” Jongin says. His tone sets it in stone and he realises a second later that he must sound harsh, so he smiles gently and squeezes Kyungsoo’s shoulder before he lets go and continues packing the luggage on the bed.

 

The latter remains rooted in his spot, watching his husband’s back. There’s so much he wants to say, but he can’t get his words out. He saw this coming — the signs of war were building up these past months, but when it comes down to the now, down to the actual time they have left before they are to separate, Kyungsoo feels taken aback by its suddenness.

 

He didn’t go to bed last night thinking that that was his second last chance to sleep in Jongin’s arms. He didn’t wake up this morning thinking that he was going to miss watching his husband stir from sleep; the slope of his nose, and the way his eyelashes flutter when he blinks, like a dance accompanied by the sunlight coming through their curtains behind him, painting him with a halo. 

 

Jongin is beautiful. He doesn’t want to forget this.

 

“I-I—”

 

Jongin looks up at the same time Kyungsoo’s train of thoughts falter and the latter is given a way out when Sehun cries from the adjacent room. For a second there, he almost spilled his inner nightmares of a sad ending to their story; one he never envisioned until now. Kyungsoo blinks to get rid of the horrific images his mind conjures of war and he jerks his thumb in the direction of the open door.

 

“Sehun needs me,” he says quietly before he walks away from Jongin with his head hanging. He doesn’t see the other letting out a similar sigh and looking after him with equal longing and regret. 

 

Their precious boy was wailing his heart out in his cot, as if he too had sensed something bad had happened, and Kyungsoo completely empathises with Sehun. He feels like crying as well, if that could actually help solve their problem.

 

“Why is my baby crying?” Kyungsoo rushes forward.

 

The volume of Sehun’s cries kick up a notch — a desperate call for attention when he picks up on his father’s presence, and Kyungsoo is quick to pick him up. He hugs the baby to his chest and bounces him on the spot gently. “Are you hungry, Sehunnie?” Kyungsoo peers at the clock on the wall, which confirms it is time for Sehun to get his evening bottle. He quickly makes his way to the kitchen.

 

It’s almost clockwork after this as he falls into the habit of preparing milk for his baby; retrieving the flask of warm water he had saved from lunch, filling a clean bottle and scooping in the milk powder. They’re almost out of it. Kyungsoo studies the near empty tin can and sighs. That’s going to blow a hole in their pockets this month considering the price hike for all necessities in the markets due to the impending outbreak of war.

 

Sehun grows quiet and sucks on his thumb, comfortable in his arms, or maybe it’s because the baby knows his food is well on the way when Kyungsoo gives the bottle a good shake.

 

He smiles when Sehun eagerly receives the bottle of milk with his chubby hands and starts drinking once he had deemed the temperature okay and lifted the tip of the bottle to the boy’s lips.

 

“My beautiful baby,” Kyungsoo coos and plants a kiss on Sehun’s forehead. He can’t look away from those big eyes staring right back at him. They remind him of his own, as Jongin quite likes to point out, even though he doesn’t share a single drop of blood with the baby.

 

Sehun is a gift the heavens had bestowed upon them. 

 

Kyungsoo and Jongin love children, and they have always wanted a little one of their own. Almost a year ago, when they were out in town treasuring a rare day off for the latter, a fateful episode of them losing their way led to them finding themselves in front of an orphanage.

 

Was it curiosity or their inner desires to share a child that ultimately brought them over the threshold?

 

One glance at the small product of premature birth hooked up to plenty of machines to sustain his life had them falling in love.

 

Sehun was never given the chance to live by his birth parents, but Kyungsoo and Jongin came by with more than enough hope, with more than enough in their hearts, to make him their future.

 

Kyungsoo slowly spins around with Sehun happily feeding away in his arms and pauses when he sees Jongin leaning against the frame of the kitchen door, watching them with an expression that can only be described as utterly enamoured.

 

“What?” He whispers to his husband softly.

 

“Nothing,” Jongin shakes his head and breaks out into a small smile. “Was just trying to commit this picture of you feeding Sehun to memory. I’m going to miss this.”

 

The lump in Kyungsoo’s throat grows with his husband’s comment.

 

“Are you hungry? Here, you hold Sehun while I get started on our dinner.” He hands over the baby to Jongin and turns his back to him. “Go wait in the living room. I’ll just cook up something simple… shouldn’t take too long.” Kyungsoo tries for a smile over his shoulder next, but returns his attention to the gas stove when he feels tears creeping in from the corner of his eyes.

 

Jongin must know he is crying, but he decides to give Kyungsoo some space to himself and leaves after saying, “okay, yell out if you need any help.”

 

If this is the last dinner he will have with his husband for some time, Kyungsoo is determined to make it the best meal.

 

He swings open the refrigerator door and starts to take out ingredients for a stew. He also pulls out the tray of meat they store deep within their freezer; meat, which can be considered a luxury in their time of poverty. Initially, Kyungsoo had bought it for special occasions such as birthday celebrations when Jongin first got an additional allowance from the Armed Forces, but he figures what’s the point of saving it for future days now?

 

Afterall, he is to fly to Fiji with Sehun in the early hours of tomorrow. Are there still future days?

 

That’s the underlying question he refuses to entertain in his mind.

 

Jongin was the one who had settled on the country — Fiji. His decision aided by his consideration of sending his loved ones as far out of harm’s way as possible. The fact that Kyungsoo’s parents and brother had relocated there some years before, after the latter had married his sweetheart, sealed the deal. At least his husband will be able to find familiarity in a foreign land.

 

Also, there is the unspoken — should Jongin not return from the war, at least Kyungsoo and Sehun will not be alone, with no family support.

 

Kyungsoo turns off the running tap and tosses the greens in a basket to dry. He doesn’t know how long the war will last, how long will he be away from Jongin. His husband had said one to two years for it seemed the higher-ups were fairly confident that the enemies will be defeated by then.

 

But Kyungsoo thinks differently. He senses the growing movements in both sets of allies may just change the tides for the feuding countries.

 

When the stew is left to simmer in the pot, he wipes down the table and makes his way to the living room. What he sees when he turns the bend has him halting his footsteps. Kyungsoo gets Jongin’s previous fascination of watching him feed their baby now. In that moment, he decides there is nothing more beautiful than the picture of Jongin playing affectionately with the legs of Sehun, while the boy sucks on his bottle in his lap. His heart warms him, like he is a child of the Sun himself.

 

“Your feet are so small, our Sehunnie,” Jongin coos, lifting one of the baby’s foot to prop it against his open palm. “Look, you’re just about the length of my thumb.” He marvels at the comparison before tickling Sehun, laughing when the baby squirms but refuses to let go of the milk bottle. The survival instincts are strong with this one. Jongin stops before Sehun can choke. “I wonder how much our baby would have grown when I next hold you like this.” His smile slowly starts to fade.

 

Kyungsoo blinks and averts his eyes at once, but his ears do not allow him to ignore what his husband says next.

 

“When I’m not around anymore, you have to take care of Appa when you grow big enough, okay? Remember Daddy loves Sehunnie very, very much. Daddy will always love Appa and our little one.” Jongin shakes Sehun’s foot and leans down to kiss the baby’s forehead then cheeks. “Daddy is sorry he cannot be with Sehunnie now, but Daddy will try very hard to come back to Sehunnie and Appa, okay? Daddy promises.”

 

Jongin sets Sehun’s bottle aside when he drains all the milk and lifts the baby by his armpits, depositing him on the floor. Sehun still isn’t very good at walking, but at least he is able to stand for several seconds with support. Kyungsoo likes to blame it on Jongin for always pampering their son and carrying him around all the time, but he can’t say he isn’t guilty of doing the same when Jongin is out training. Afterall, the boy is just so cuddly. 

 

“You want to try walking again, baby? Let Daddy see. Here you go—”

 

Sehun actually whines when Jongin lets go of one of his hands, and when he tries to follow after his father’s hand, he wobbles. Afraid he would get hurt, Kyungsoo steps forward at once, arms at the ready to save Sehun from falling. But of course Jongin is right there to steady him as well. Kyungsoo sighs in relief, his heart was in his mouth at one point. He shares a smile with his husband when he looks up at him.

 

“You almost got it, baby. Let’s try again… Go to Appa this time,” Jongin urges, letting go when Sehun stands on his two feet again. A smile grows on Kyungsoo’s face when Sehun looks up in the direction Jongin points at and makes a soft noise of recognition when he spots Kyungsoo.

 

“Yes, come on, Sehunnie.” Kyungsoo settles on his knees and claps his hands together, beckoning for his son.

 

Five steps. After a long minute, their baby finally takes five steps in Kyungsoo’s direction before his bottom plops down on the floor. Sehun seems quite happy he finally gets to take a rest. It took quite a bit of encouragement to rid him of his hesitancy to take steps forward, and even then the boy had refused to release his iron grip on one of Jongin’s thumb. Despite that, Jongin practically jumps off the couch in excitement. He was convinced that that had been Sehun’s biggest achievement in life so far.

 

(It probably is, to be honest.)  

 

Kyungsoo hears it — the moment when Jongin murmurs to himself under his breath, “at least I saw his first steps.” His husband must not have noticed he said it out loud, or perhaps he thought Kyungsoo was too distracted with praising Sehun to hear.

 

He smiles, even though his heart shatters on the inside, not knowing what else to say to Jongin.

 

“Dinner should be ready. Come on love, let’s eat.” Kyungsoo opts for the easy way out of not addressing the issue.  

 

How many of Sehun’s firsts will his husband miss?

 

 

***

 

 

“Why are you crying again, my love?”

 

Kyungsoo sniffles and looks away from Jongin’s eyes. “I can’t help it,” he whispers, tugging Sehun’s body a little closer to his chest. The baby’s scent always calms him. He badly needs this therapy now. They are currently lying in their bed after dinner, with Sehun already fast asleep between them. “I don’t want to leave you in the morning, Jongin. I really don’t want to.”

 

Jongin sighs and lifts his hand cupping Kyungsoo’s waist to cradle his face. “I know. I hate to be apart from you and Sehun too, but I have no choice.” Kyungsoo slips his eyes shut when Jongin leans forward to place a kiss on his forehead, soft and gentle. 

 

“Promise me you will come back to me,” he whispers. “One year. I will see you in Fiji in a year’s time. Promise me,” Kyungsoo almost pleads.

 

“I promise you.”

 

There is momentary silence the second Jongin utters those words, but soon their lips meet and Kyungsoo hopes Jongin is able to feel how much he loves him back through the kiss.

 

Was it seconds after or minutes later that Sehun lets out a soft sound and wriggles under Kyungsoo’s arm. They break apart and look down at their son, sharing a fond smile when the boy’s face scrunches up for a second. Was he dreaming? They hold their breath, afraid that they had woken Sehun up, but his face calms after a second and he soon returns to sleep.

 

“How did we get so lucky, Soo?” Jongin traces his finger over Sehun’s button nose gently. “I’m going to miss watching this little one grow so much,” he admits.  

 

A thought crosses Kyungsoo’s mind suddenly and he sits up, albeit carefully so as to not disturb Sehun’s sleep.

 

“What is it?” Jongin bends his arm and props his head up to watch his husband.

 

“Photos,” Kyungsoo tells him. “I forgot we had a camera… remember that huge old thing? We should take some photos together, as a family. We don’t have many photos of our own.” Jongin’s lips curl up into a smile and he nods. Kyungsoo swings his legs over the edge of the bed and pushes himself off it. “I’ll go see if we still have any film left.” He walks out of their bedroom and heads for the study where he writes.

 

They hardly use their old bulky camera because developing the film is expensive and it takes quite a lot of time. Kyungsoo has to blow away the layer of dust that had settled over the frame of the camera, where it had sat for many months at a corner of his book stand. He opens a new pack of film roll before returning to their bedroom.

 

“How shall we do this?” Kyungsoo asks.

 

“Give it here.” Jongin reaches out for the camera. “Lie down. I’ll try to get a shot of us with Sehun.” It’s tough balancing the camera in one hand, but Jongin manages (barely). Kyungsoo shifts closer and squishes his cheek against Jongin’s, while a hand of his curls around Sehun. They even have to crane their necks at an odd little angle to be absolutely sure they get the perfect shot of their small little family, but the memory is more than worth the slight ache.

 

It’s a pity that Sehun is asleep though. Kyungsoo very much wishes to snap a photo of the two loves of his life spending time with each other, for his own selfish viewing; for whenever he misses his husband in the future.

 

Jongin also manages to catch Kyungsoo by surprise a couple of times, sneaking in kisses and snapping shots of their love with his good timing. The smiles it draws from the latter is the most genuine of all, and even though they have yet to develop the film, Jongin knows this side of Kyungsoo will be one he remembers for a lifetime.

 

“I think that’s about all the exposure we have in the film.” He places the camera on their bedside table carefully and goes to turn off the lights again before cuddling up to Sehun and Jongin.

 

“Let’s go to sleep, Soo. We need to wake up really early tomorrow.”

 

The reminder of their impending departure stings and Kyungsoo lets out a little sigh again. His previous lifted mood dulls considerably.

 

Of course Jongin sees it. He lifts his hand to Kyungsoo’s head and strokes his hair gently. “I haven’t told you this, but I have a present for you and Sehun,” Jongin whispers. 

 

If the other thought mentioning this now would lift up his spirits a little, he was wrong.

 

“A present?” Kyungsoo merely blinks, “What is it?”

 

“You’ll see in the morning. I kept it outside, back in the yard. I’ve been working on it for some time,” Jongin says. “But for now, sleep, my love.” He smiles and strokes Kyungsoo’s cheek. The latter hums and shuffles closer to his two boys. Once Jongin is satisfied with the way they are cuddling up to one another, he lets his eyelids fall shut. The rigour of a last training session in the morning finally takes a toll on the man as Jongin drifts off to sleep.

 

But sleep remains a stranger to Kyungsoo all through that night. How can he fall asleep when he knows this is the last time he will be sleeping on the same bed with Jongin for months, or worse, years.

 

Kyungsoo’s gaze trails over his husband’s face and he commits it to memory. Again, he wills himself to never forget.

 

_ I’m going to miss you so much, Jongin. _

 

 

***

 

 

“Good morning,” Jongin cracks open an eye and grunts, pushing himself up into a sitting position once he rids himself of the laziness that was threatening to persuade him back to sleep.

 

There’s nothing good about this morning, and Kyungsoo makes sure his thoughts are obvious to the other.

 

It’s finally here. After a sleepless night, it’s finally time for them to get up and prepare to leave for the airport. Kyungsoo had alternated from watching Jongin sleep to Sehun sleeping and the clock on the bedside table ticking away overnight. Every time the second hand shifted, it seemed his heart rate kept accelerating; it stifled him worst when the time for Jongin to wake drew nearer.

 

“I don’t want to leave this bed,” Kyungsoo says.

 

Jongin leans in to peck Sehun on the forehead before staring down at Kyungsoo. “Me too,” he confesses. But his next action contradicts his words. Jongin leans in to peck his husband on the forehead and slides out of bed after that. “Follow me, Soo. I have something for you.” He holds out his hand invitingly.

 

_ Oh right. The present he mentioned last night. _

 

Kyungsoo sits up. “What about Sehun?” He asks as he stands, glancing down at their snoozing baby. To his surprise, the boy had slept through the entire night without stirring. “What if he wakes?”

 

“We’ll be quick,” Jongin reassures and grabs his hand, pulling him out of their room. Kyungsoo allows the other to drag him out into the yard. A night of insomnia and dread has turned his legs into lead. “Be very careful when you get this on and off the plane later, okay?” Jongin says as he lifts a box, which seems relatively heavy, up onto the bench and opens the lid. It’s a large glass jar of sorts, filled with countless origami stars, and the jar itself was wrapped up in rolls of bubble foam. “It’s very fragile. Protect it however you can.”

 

“What’s this?” Kyungsoo asks. 

 

“My heart,” Jongin replies with a smile. “Each star in here represents my love for you and Sehun. I spent a long time between breaks at training and late nights when you were sleeping working on this, penning down my words. Everything I want to say to you both from now on is in this jar.”

 

_ Oh.  _ Kyungsoo remembers this. He remembers the nights he had caught the other out in the yard, but whenever he had asked why he was still awake, Jongin had always dismissed his questions and hurried in to sleep. He didn’t pry further.

 

“I want you guys to have a piece of me with you every day. From tomorrow, pick out a star a day and read it out to Sehun, okay? Pick out a star a day. I wrote a message in each one. Don’t worry so much, Soo. I’ll be back before you know it. I’ll be back before the stars run out.”

 

“But there are so many of them,” Kyungsoo says, staring intently at the stars. It  _ is _ a huge jar. If he is to read only one per day, does that mean it’ll take a long time before Jongin comes home?

 

His husband must see his worry. “It just looks a lot because I folded extra to fill up the jar. There should be a thousand stars in this, give and take.” Jongin wraps his arms around the box and lifts it again, walking back into their house and depositing it on their dining table. Kyungsoo trails after him and walks into Jongin’s embrace when the other turns around.

 

“You know the stars can never replace you actually being there with us right? No matter what they say...” Kyungsoo asks. Jongin’s only answer is to squeeze him tighter and prop his head on Kyungsoo’s.

 

He knows.

 

The pair stand hugging in silence until it becomes impossible for them to not get a move on; Kyungsoo and Sehun will miss their flight if they continue to delay the inevitable, and that’s the last thing Jongin wants.

 

“I’ll take a quick shower and then prepare a light breakfast.”

 

“Can I join you in the shower?” Jongin hurries to add, with some unspoken words lining his eyes. But Kyungsoo knows. Of course he knows. 

 

“Of course.” He reaches up to stroke his husband’s chin. “You don’t even have to ask.” Kyungsoo leads them into the bathroom and shuts the door behind them.

 

It’s quiet after that, only the sound of the water crashing onto the floor tiles contributes noise. Jongin lathers more soap onto Kyungsoo’s shoulders after rinsing off the shampoo in his hair and massages the other’s skin. He can feel how tensed Kyungsoo has been, and his husband hums his appreciation for his efforts to get rid of the knots in his back, those he can’t reach himself. 

 

Kyungsoo must know where things are leading, and perhaps he had anticipated it, for he made no sound of protest when Jongin’s hands creep down his chest before coming to settle by his waist. His light touches lighting a flame of arousal down Kyungsoo’s skin. Jongin presses himself up against the other’s back and tilts his head down to kiss Kyungsoo’s shoulder, practically begging the other to pay some attention to his growing erection poking at his inner thighs.

 

“Don’t tease, Jongin,” Kyungsoo whispers, tilting his head to the side to bare more neck for Jongin to leave love bites, while reaching back to grab Jongin’s cock and stroking it slowly. The latter moans and shuffles them forward slightly till Kyungsoo props his free hand against the shower walls. “Love me, please, before we run out of time,” Kyungsoo nudges Jongin’s head with his and captures his husband’s lips in a fierce kiss.

 

He lets out a moan of his own when Jongin’s fingers probe around his sensitive region and slides in easily with the help of the soap. While Kyungsoo loses himself in the pleasure of Jongin’s ministrations, Jongin wraps his other hand around Kyungsoo’s neglected member and starts off with quick short jerks around the head. At once, Kyungsoo slams both his open palms against the shower walls and bends forward slightly, closing his eyes at the overstimulation.

 

“We have time, Soo. I’ll show you,” Jongin grunts and jerks his hips forward.

 

“Jongin!” Kyungsoo whimpers when the other’s fingers leave him and he feels his husband shifting behind him, lining himself up. The breach is slow, probably deliberate on Jongin’s part, and slightly painful to be honest. He knows the other is big, and Kyungsoo is used to the ache now. He loves the ache; he loves that it’s another way of Jongin showing him how much he loves him.

 

“Just go,” Kyungsoo says. He can feel how much Jongin is holding himself back so that he can settle. He doesn’t want Jongin to hold back.

 

Not now. Especially now when they’re reaching the end.

 

They both know this is their last and they are determined to make the most of it.

 

“Jongin. Go. Fast,” Kyungsoo chokes out as Jongin’s grip on his waist tightens and he begins snapping his hips forward, jutting Kyungsoo forward with the sheer force of his thrusts. Kyungsoo holds onto the walls for dear life and joins in their little choir of grunts and moans. The raining shower head does well to disguise the tears slipping from his eyes.

 

“I love you, Soo. So much.” Jongin grits his teeth and leans his upper body backward, hips relentless in action. This angle draws so much more pleasure for the both of them, pushing them closer and closer to the edge of losing it all. Kyungsoo lets out a low whine when Jongin’s hips slow down suddenly, right when he was about to let go of all control he had.

 

“No! Don’t stop now,” Kyungsoo begs, turning his head back to look at the other. “I’m almost there.”

 

Jongin wasn’t planning on stopping, not when he sees the look in Kyungsoo’s eyes; the track of tears on the other’s cheeks, barely there before they are washed away.

 

He slides in painfully slow, pulls out until the head of his cock remains in Kyungsoo’s warmth, and repeats his slow, sensual thrusts again and again. “Remember this, Soo. Remember how I make love to you. Think of me everyday.” He’s planning to drag out their moment. Kyungsoo’s bottom smacks against Jongin’s thighs continously, accompanying the lewd sounds of Jongin’s cock sliding in and out of Kyungsoo’s hole.

 

“I love you,” Jongin breathes out and gives the other a particularly hard thrust.

 

It’s time they unravel.

 

“I love you,” Jongin says again, catching Kyungsoo who sobs into his chest. “Remember this. Remember the happy us.”

 

 

***

 

 

The airport was practically a warzone itself with the way people weave around the many lines and counters for flights heading out of the country, despite it being only near seven in the morning. 

 

It seems most have caught the news yesterday as well. 

 

Kyungsoo tugs Sehun’s beanie down, the baby was strapped to his chest facing outwards, and hugs him closer, while Jongin guides them forward pushing their trolley with a big luggage and his box, forming a protective barrier around them with his swinging left arm. The fact that he was also wearing his Armed Forces uniform grants them that bit more space to walk.

 

“Fiji! There!” Jongin juts his chin somewhere to the right and urges Kyungsoo to follow closely after him, which the latter does blindly for he can’t see over the heads of those around him. “We have two tickets! My husband and son, please. We have seats.” Jongin slams a paper folder onto the counter, startling the airline staff a little. It was tough securing the tickets in the first place. Jongin’s family had to pull some strings behind the scenes to ensure Kyungsoo and Sehun’s safe passage out of the country.

 

Kyungsoo leaves Jongin to complete their check in procedure with the staff and looks down at Sehun. The baby was wide awake, observing the chaos around them with wide curious eyes, but calmly sucking on his pacifier. Bless his young mind for not understanding what’s going on. Kyungsoo kisses Sehun on the head and snatches the baby’s attention at once. His heart melts when he sees Sehun smiling up at him behind his pacifier and wriggling his short legs excitedly.

 

“Who’s my cute baby?” Kyungsoo coos.

 

“Okay, Soo… we’re done here. Let’s head to the holding area.” A hand presses against his lower back at Jongin’s reappearance a couple of minutes later, and the latter guides them through the throngs of people once again. This is it. Kyungsoo purposely takes shorter steps when he sees them approaching the departure gates. Behind those glass doors is the tarmac and the plane that will bring him out of South Korea for god knows how long; behind those doors is their goodbye.

 

Jongin slows down himself to match his husband’s pace, glancing over at Kyungsoo in concern every couple of seconds. The latter can feel his heartbeat accelerating as they enter the holding area.

 

“How long more?” He whispers.

 

Jongin takes a look at his watch and despite the pained expression that flashes behind his eyes, he puts on a strong front when facing Kyungsoo. “Boarding will probably start in twenty to thirty minutes.”

 

Thirty minutes. Maximum. That’s all they had.

 

When they promised each other their lifetimes in their wedding vows, who would have thought the appearance of this thirty minutes?

 

“I’ll board last,” Kyungsoo says.  _ If that can buy me a little bit more time. _

 

“Nonsense. You’ll get in line at the first call. I’m not risking you two missing a seat.” Jongin says firmly. “Who knows if there are illegal boarders.” When he sees Kyungsoo’s bottom lip quiver, his face softens and he pulls them down to sit on a couple of vacated chairs. The other leans his head against his shoulders at once, and Jongin wraps his arms around Kyungsoo. He doesn’t miss the tear that escapes from the corner of the other’s eyes.

 

“I want you to drop me a message when you reach Fiji,” Jongin says. “I might be on the move, but I’ll check my phone at night.”

 

Kyungsoo nods wordlessly and buries his face in Jongin’s neck. Sehun wriggles against Kyungsoo’s chest and whines when his pacifier falls out of his mouth. He rarely cries; always a calm baby (for which they are thankful).

 

“Don’t worry, baby. Daddy’s got it,” Jongin coos and offers it back to Sehun after catching it. The baby waves his tiny fists in the air and Kyungsoo can’t help but smile a small one; his spirits lifted slightly (just slightly) by his son who is cuteness personified. “I know you will do a great job caring for him,” Jongin noses at his husband’s head. “I’ll miss him a lot. I’ll miss you most.” He stares deep into Kyungsoo’s eyes. “Know that I will always love you. I’ll call you everyday.”

 

“Just promise you will come back to us soon,” Kyungsoo says quietly. “I don’t know what I’ll do if something bad happens to you—”

Jongin quickly shushes him before picking up one of Sehun’s fist and kissing it. “I promise you that Daddy will see you real soon, little one,” he says while looking into Sehun’s eyes. Then Jongin straightens and cups Kyungsoo’s face next. “And you—” He stares intently. “I promise you, my love, that I will come home.”

 

Kyungsoo slips his eyes shut, but he can’t keep another tear from escaping.

 

“I will come home. Wait for me,” Jongin insists.

 

 

***

 

 

“I don’t think I can do this.” Kyungsoo starts to panic when the crowd around them starts to push forward at the boarding call, bringing them closer and closer to stepping through the doors leading out to the tarmac. “I love you, Jongin,” he rushes out, before blabbering out the rest of the words he wanted to say to his husband before they separate.

 

Jongin wasn’t allowed out on the tarmac, so before Kyungsoo steps out of reach with Sehun, Jongin pulls on the other’s arm and crushes them to his chest in a tight hug. “Go,” he whispers and gives Kyungsoo a slight nudge, releasing him some seconds after. The other’s resolve was slowly melting; Jongin needed to hold on for awhile more if not he’d cave and call Kyungsoo back.

 

This is as hard for him as it is for Kyungsoo.

 

Kyungsoo turns his head back every few seconds to try and catch a glimpse of his husband, who is stranded by the doors. It’s when he’s climbing up the boarding stairs that his floodgates open, mirroring the tears he sees on Jongin’s face. Kyungsoo lifts one of Sehun’s hands and waves them in his husband’s direction.

 

“Say goodbye to Daddy, sweetheart.” Despite not being able to spot Jongin from a distance, Sehun still wriggles enthusiastically, playing along with Kyungsoo’s actions. The baby has on a face of pure innocence, and Kyungsoo’s heart aches at the thought that baby Sehun doesn’t know he won’t see his Daddy tomorrow.

 

Kyungsoo sees Jongin hurriedly wiping away his tears before he too raises his hand in the air and waves back at them. Then the flight attendant was pressing up against him, hurrying them along so more people can get onboard and Kyungsoo steps into the plane.

 

That’s the last they saw of each other.

 

 

***

 

 

**November 1973**

 

Kyungsoo eyes the photos surrounding Jongin’s large jar of origami stars and a smile naturally grows on his face. He was really glad the films had developed well. Kyungsoo still sees (and remembers) Jongin’s beauty through the photos despite them being in fading black and white.

 

The love shining through the other’s eyes while he stares at Kyungsoo and a baby Sehun sleeping between them was so apparent. The photographs — captures of their last happy moments together.

 

He turns to eye the clock on the wall before glancing down at his phone.

 

An hour to go then. Kyungsoo picks up the notebook he had abandoned in his lap and considers continuing to work on the draft of his latest novel. But not one minute later, his ears pick up on the light footsteps hurrying down the stairs of their small two-storey home. Kyungsoo puts away his notebook and fountain pen at once and yells out “don’t run, Sehun!” worriedly.

 

“Appa! Why didn’t you wake me up from my nap!” The said boy comes barrelling over the second he leaps off the last step. The four-year old jumps on Kyungsoo’s lap, drawing a pained grunt from his father, and looks up at him. “Did Daddy call already?” He looks so worried he had missed out on Jongin’s call.

 

“Not yet, sweetheart,” Kyungsoo says, while trying to comb through Sehun’s messy hair with his fingers. “Daddy said around half past seven yesterday, remember?”

 

“Oh.” Sehun’s face falls slightly before it brightens up again. “I’ll wait then.” Kyungsoo laughs when the boy gets comfortable on his thighs and proceeds to stare at his phone intently, as if afraid that if he blinks, he’d miss his father’s call when it comes.

 

Sehun adores his Daddy, even though he’d grown up without Jongin being around. The boy had no memories of what Jongin even looked like; only the photos in the living room serve a reminder. 

 

As Kyungsoo had expected, Jongin had missed a couple of Sehun’s firsts, including his first word. But his husband always made the effort to call back every night, or alternate nights if time didn’t allow for it, and for that Kyungsoo is grateful.

 

He is grateful Jongin knows to call and inform he’s safe; he is grateful the other knows he needs the reassurance. He is also grateful for how invested Jongin is in checking on Sehun’s growth.

 

His husband obviously misses being with them.

 

Kyungsoo still remembers the day Jongin had cried over the phone when he had told him Sehun had spoken his first words that day (and it wasn’t Daddy). It happened over lunch when the baby had grown a little impatient waiting for his food, and when Kyungsoo had walked up to him with a tiny bowl and spoon mixing his puree, he had uttered his first “papa”.

 

It was soft, short, but distinct; a step up from his usual incomprehensible baby babbles. Kyungsoo had almost dropped whatever he had in his hands when he heard. Instead, he went down on his knees and when Sehun had repeated the word again, he had cried tears of joy. The baby didn’t even give him the time of day, too occupied with trying to reach for the bowl in his father’s hands.

 

Kyungsoo did feel a little guilty for it was him who had been gunning for the baby to call him “Appa” daily. But Jongin didn’t even sound jealous when he had told him Sehun’s first words weren’t “Daddy”. Instead, the man was simply overjoyed at Sehun’s achievement and he had ended up crying because he was obviously disappointed he couldn’t be there to witness it.

 

(Jongin then spent the remainder of the call urging Sehun to say the word “Daddy”. He achieved partial success when an uncooperative baby finally uttered “da”. Kyungsoo had rolled his eyes fondly when Jongin had tried to convince himself Sehun actually said the full word; the other half, “ddy”, was merely lost in their phones’ poor connections.)

 

“Come on, baby. Let’s cook up a quick dinner first, okay?” Kyungsoo pats Sehun’s bum and lifts him up. The boy’s getting heavier by the day.

 

“But what if we miss Daddy’s call?” Sehun asks.

 

“It’ll ring. Don’t worry, baby. We won’t miss it.” Kyungsoo puts Sehun down on a seat and walks over to the fridge.

 

_ I won’t miss it for the world. _

 

Besides, he much rather get started on dinner early than watch the television while waiting for Jongin’s call. They haven’t tuned in to the network for the longest time; Kyungsoo’s afraid of what he’d see on the news pertaining to the war.

 

“What shall we have today?” He smiles at Sehun.

 

 

***

 

 

It’s awhile later when he has a pot of soup boiling on the stove when his phone rings.

 

Kyungsoo turns just in time to see Sehun’s eyes light up, a sharp gasp drawn from the boy, before he struggles off the chair and darts off into the living room. “Daddy! Daddy, Daddy…” Kyungsoo hears his son’s excited squeals and smiles in return. He hurriedly turns off the stove and wipes his hands on his apron before leaving the kitchen.

 

“Hi Daddy!” Sehun was obviously having a hard time holding the bulky phone up against his ear. “Are you coming home tomorrow?” He asks, right off the bat.

 

The boy asks this question everyday, and every day Jongin has to let him down. Kyungsoo’s heart aches because of it. The devastated look on their baby’s face is heartbreaking.

 

“Oh okay…” Sehun’s face falls. “Uh huh… yes, Daddy. Okay, Daddy.” The boy nods to whatever Jongin is saying over the phone, and when the phone almost slips out of his hands, Kyungsoo steps up to relieve him of the phone and lays it on the couch. He presses the loudspeaker button and Jongin’s deep voice fills the air at once.

 

“—you do today, little one? Have you had dinner with Appa?”

 

There are loud noises in the background. Kyungsoo fears it means Jongin’s troops are on the move and they have lesser time together today.

 

“You’re early today,” Kyungsoo replies instead. “We haven’t eaten yet. This baby wanted to wait for you,” He pokes Sehun’s sides playfully and the boy lets out a  whine.

 

“I’m not a baby, Appa.” Sehun huffs.  

 

“You’ll always be our baby, little one,” Jongin chuckles before he greets Kyungsoo with a “Hey love. How’s your writing coming along, and how’s your mother doing?” 

 

“Just a minor sprain on the wrist… nothing to worry about. I’m actually struggling a lot with the ending of this story, but it should come around soon,” Kyungsoo says. “Why don’t you tell Daddy about our visit to Grandma’s house in the morning, Sehun?” He gives the said boy a nudge; a chance to communicate more with his father.

 

“Okay!” Sehun perks up at that and begins to speak of his adventures with Mongmool and Hoochoo, puppies that his grandparents had recently picked up off the streets, and how Grandma had promised to let Sehun bring home the puppies if he is a good boy and listens to Appa. Jongin hums occasionally, just to let them know he’s still listening. “They’re so cute, Daddy. You’ll love them!” Sehun coos.  

 

“I bet I will,” Jongin laughs. “Can’t wait to play with them with you, little one.”

 

“We can bring them to the beach. Oh! Appa hasn't brought me to the beach in a long time. Can we go soon, Appa?” At this, Sehun turns to plead Kyungsoo. “We can go with Daddy. Pleaseeeeee…” 

 

Kyungsoo laughs adoringly at Sehun’s pout and runs his fingers through the boy’s hair. “Of course, sweetheart,” he says, and Sehun lets out a cheer.

 

“You hear that, little one? How about we work together to throw Appa in the water?”

 

Kyungsoo lets out an affronted  _ “hey!”  _

 

“Sshhh Daddy, Appa can hear,” Sehun giggles and tries to hide the phone behind his body, as if Kyungsoo can unhear Jongin’s suggestion and can unsee their son shooting furtive glances at him. 

 

“Why you betrayer! You're supposed to be on my side,” Kyungsoo pretends to growl and latches onto Sehun, punishing him with tickles and kisses aplenty, while the boy bursts into laughter. They can hear Jongin laughing along as well on the other side of the line.

 

But then comes a sudden shout of Jongin’s name and Kyungsoo hears some rustling before his husband replies to his comrade in hushed whispers, words too soft for them to make out. He waits patiently, while Sehun keeps glancing up at him, taking cue from Kyungsoo when it was appropriate to speak again.

 

“Soo, little one,” Jongin’s voice returns after a few seconds. Kyungsoo already knows what he’s going to say from the tone he’s using. 

 

“You’ll call again tomorrow?” Kyungsoo asks.

 

“Of course,” Jongin promises. “But we’ll be on the move a lot more these days. I may not get the chance to call every day now.”  

 

“Okay. Stay safe, please,” he says.

 

Kyungsoo was right that the war will be a long one. The one year that was promised had gradually snowballed to around three, and Kyungsoo is tired of waiting. He wants Jongin home. The other knows this very well.

 

“Don’t think it’ll be much longer now, Soo,” Jongin reassures him. “Father has a plan. Within a month, we’ll be moving East and striking them where it really hurts. That should be the finishing line. Wait for me, okay? Wait for me, little one. Daddy will see Sehunnie real soon.”

 

“Yes, Daddy. Hurry please. Come play with me and the puppies.” Sehun bounces excitedly in his spot, but Kyungsoo remains silent. He’s heard those words from Jongin before — promises of the war ending soon, but their past plans have always been delayed. 

 

Their ambitions of ending the war always on the horizon. But the sky is vast.

 

Kyungsoo eyes the jar sitting to his right and sighs. There’s barely any stars left now, around fifty or so if he takes a crack at guessing. That’s slightly more than a month’s worth. The timing is too coincidental. 

 

So is this it? Can he now believe Jongin’s words that he’d be back before the stars run out?

 

 

***

 

 

**December, 1973**

 

“Hurt? What do you mean he’s hurt?! I’m coming down right away,” Kyungsoo hangs up and rushes to grab a sweater before dashing out of the house. In his hurry, he almost forgets to lock the front gate. In his mind, all he can think about is Sehun and his baby’s well-being.

 

_ “Kyungsoo? This is Baekhyun. Can you come down to the school early? I know it’s still an hour or so more before you’re due to pick him up, but Sehun got a little hurt at playtime today.” _

 

_ Please let him be okay.  _ Kyungsoo hops onto his bicycle and starts pedaling hard.  _ Please let nothing bad happen to Sehun. He’s all I have now.  _ Kyungsoo doesn’t know the extent of Sehun’s injury for Baekhyun had not elaborated, or rather, Kyungsoo had panicked and didn’t give the other much time to speak. That’s why he fears the worst. Afterall, his heart has long prepared him to expect the worst.

 

He was in the midst of preparing lunch so that he had food at the ready when Sehun is to reach home, that’s when the boy’s pre-school teacher (and Kyungsoo’s close friend), Baekhyun, had called. He certainly wasn’t expecting to hear his child had gotten into a fight with a classmate of his. His sweet, sweet Sehun… fighting with another? Hard to believe.

 

But then Baekhyun had went on to say Sehun got a little hurt in his tussle with this other boy, and that rang all kinds of alarm bells within Kyungsoo. No one is to hurt his little angel. He had promised Jongin that he will take good care of Sehun before they left; he would bring him up well and wait for his return. He can’t go back on his words to his husband.

 

The pre-school Sehun attends isn’t that far from their home so he reaches the grounds fairly quickly with his mad pedaling. It had been Kyungsoo and his brother’s idea to send Sehun there a year ago, despite plenty of protests from their mother — she argued that she was more than capable to care for her precious grandson and relayed her fears of the possibility of other children, a majority Fiji natives, bullying Sehun.

 

On the other hand, Kyungsoo had been convinced by his brother’s words that his son needed to step out from under his wings and interact with other children his age. Of course Kyungsoo had similar concerns to his mother, but his and his mother’s worries were laid to rest when they had visited the pre-school and met Baekhyun, a fellow South Korean, who has since turned into a close family friend. Somehow, they were assured Sehun was in good hands.

 

“Over here, Kyungsoo!” He spots Baekhyun the second he bursts through the pre-school’s main doors. His friend was hovering in front of the staff office, waving to catch his attention.

 

“Where is he? What happened? I want to see him,” Kyungsoo rushes out and grabs onto Baekhyun’s arms, making the latter wince.

 

“Sehun’s with the head lady. He’s okay, don’t worry.” Baekhyun leads Kyungsoo into the office. It’s there that he finds his son sitting in front of a middle-aged lady, who seemed to be attempting to cheer him up. Sehun had his head bowed and he had  _ that _ pout on his face — that pout that is so undeniably  _ Jongin. _

 

“Sehun!” Kyungsoo crouches down in front of the said boy, who looks up and yells out  _ “Appa!”  _ before immediately flinging his arms around Kyungsoo’s neck and breaking out into sobs in his father’s embrace. “I’m sorry… please don’t be mad,” Sehun cries. 

 

_ Mad? Why will I be mad? _

 

Kyungsoo briefly glances at the head lady and Baekhyun before turning his attention back to his son. “Why are you sorry, baby? Look at me. Where are you hurt?” He pats Sehun’s head and forces the boy away from his neck so he can get a good look at him.

 

There’s a slight abrasion to the side of his forehead, near his temple, but other than that there isn’t anything else he spots. Kyungsoo heaves a huge sigh of relief and pecks Sehun on the head, which calms the boy down somewhat. “Thank god,” he whispers.

 

“What happened?” Kyungsoo asks Baekhyun and the head lady when Sehun refuses to meet his eyes; choosing to stay silent over the matter.

 

“I must apologise, Mr Kim,” the head lady comes around the table to greet him with a smile. “One of the other students here said some mean things to Sehun at playtime today—” Kyungsoo feels Sehun’s arms tightening around his neck, “—which led to their small fight. I’ve already given Lachlan a stern talking to… let me assure you that such a thing will never happen again. I’ve also spoken to Sehun about it. Even though he’s in the wrong for pushing Lachlan, I must admit I sympathise with his feelings.”

 

“Yes, Kyungsoo. It happened when I was helping out another student. I promise to keep a better watch over them in future,” Baekhyun adds.

 

“It’s okay,” Kyungsoo says. “Don’t blame yourself, Baek. I’m just glad he’s not hurt badly.” He strokes Sehun’s cheeks and stares at him in all seriousness. “We never choose the path of violence, Sehunnie, no matter if the other person is at fault. Okay?”

 

Sehun lowers his gaze and pouts. “I’m sorry, Appa.” But his gaze soon turns defiant. “But he laughed at me and said bad things about Daddy! He said Daddy doesn’t love me, that’s why he isn’t here, and that Daddy will never come back!” Tears well up in Sehun’s eyes again. “I don’t like Lachlan.”

 

_ What?! _

 

The head lady and Baekhyun, who both know their family situation, look equally put off.

 

Kyungsoo grits his teeth to hold in his emotions and hugs Sehun closer. That’s no thing to say to a child, especially coming from a child as well. “Nonsense,” he says. “Your Daddy loves Sehunnie a lot. He tells you that everytime he calls, and he writes them in his stars too, remember?” Sehun nods, looking a little happier now because he does remember. 

 

“Of course Daddy will come back.” Kyungsoo lowers his voice to whisper in the boy’s ear. “He promised. Daddy will come home. Let’s give him lots of hugs and kisses when he’s back, okay?”

 

“Okay!” Sehun nods excitedly.

 

There’s a weight in his mind that lingers, but Kyungsoo isn’t sure what to make of it.

 

 

***

 

 

“Look, Appa! Isn’t that Daddy’s stars?”

 

Kyungsoo turns to look in the direction Sehun is pointing in. Sure enough, there’s a young couple laying out crafts materials for sale on one of the tables in the flea market they’re passing through to get to the beach. At the center of the display is a small jar filled with origami stars.  

 

“You’re right.” He tries to show a smile on his face, but it’s a tough ask. “Let’s take a look on our way back. I want to catch the remaining sunlight,” Kyungsoo says. They’re on the way to meet Seungsoo and his wife, as well as Baekhyun and his husband at the beach. Sehun nods obliviously and takes his hand, pulling him forward. 

 

But what Kyungsoo said was really an excuse to refrain from thinking about his own jar sitting back at home.

 

Jongin missed a call recently. He would play it off because it wasn’t the first, but this time it’s  _ different _ . Kyungsoo knows this isn’t the same.

 

When they last spoke on Friday, his husband had told them he would call in the afternoon on Monday. The Armed Forces were busy moving their arsenal and troops to the east of the border with the North, hence Jongin would be uncontactable for a couple of days.

 

But Monday came and went, and his phone had remained silent throughout. Kyungsoo is beyond worried. It isn’t the first time Jongin didn’t call when he said he would, but unlike the other occasions where his husband makes sure to call by the next morning, it’s now nearing the end of Wednesday and still he had not heard a word from the other.

 

He had lied to Sehun when the boy had asked after his Daddy. Kyungsoo had told him Jongin called when he was in pre-school. Sure, Sehun was upset he wasn’t there to speak to Jongin, but Kyungsoo didn’t want to make him worry so he had to lie.

 

_ Tonight. He will call tonight.  _ Kyungsoo tries to convince himself.

 

“Let’s find a nice corner. Your Uncle and Teacher Baek should be here soon,” he tells Sehun when they enter the beachfront and step onto the warm sand. It’s been some time since they’ve been to the beach. Kyungsoo had figured it would be good to step out of the house, take in the fresh air and let the sounds of the waves crashing onto the shore calm him. 

 

Also, his son has been bugging him to bring him to the beach for the longest time. Sehun seems to love it here. He wonders if the boy remembers Jongin had promised to bring him to the beach once. 

 

The said boy peels off his shirt impatiently, tugging hard to free himself when his head gets stuck on the collar, and dashes off to the edge of the water, clutching his red bucket and spade. The four-year old squeals all the way there.

 

“Be careful! Don’t go too near to the water, Sehun!” Kyungsoo yells out worriedly, folding the boy’s shirt and stowing it away in his bag before spreading out a mat.

 

“Okay, Appa!” Sehun calls back, pausing suddenly when he’s only a couple of meters away from Kyungsoo. He then plops himself down on the sand to stake his claim on it. “This shall be Sehunnie’s castle,” he declares to no one in particular. Kyungsoo chuckles to himself and places down their belongings before taking out a bottle of sunscreen.

 

“Let me put some sunscreen on you first, baby,” Kyungsoo says when he approaches Sehun after that. Of course the boy whines a little because his father is impeding his progress of building the biggest sandcastle ever (his words), but he still lets Kyungsoo rub a thick layer over his body and face.

 

Sehun must have naturally tan skin because Kyungsoo can’t recall Sehun staying out under the Sun for extended periods of time in all his four years. His baby is growing to resemble Jongin more and more with each passing day — looks are one aspect, but personality-wise, he is the same stubborn and childish as how his Daddy behaves occasionally.

 

All in all, he’s a good kid; the best Kyungsoo can ever ask for.

 

Kyungsoo smiles and lays down on the mat to rest. It isn’t long before he hears a “Hey, Kyungsoo!” in the distance and looks up at Baekhyun’s voice, waving the man over.

 

“Hey Baek, we just got here.” Kyungsoo pats the empty space beside him. “Where’s Chanyeol?”

 

“Parking,” Baekhyun replies. “We saw Seungsoo hyung at the entrance of the flea earlier. Think Haeun noona is trying to get us some coconuts. They should be here soon.”

 

Kyungsoo hums and points in Sehun’s direction. “He just got started on a castle,” he says.

 

“I’ll go help him out then. You on the other hand should try to get some sleep.” Baekhyun frowns down at him.

 

“Are my eyebags that obvious?” He chuckles dryly. He couldn’t sleep well last night because of Jongin. From Baekhyun’s worried expression, he must know. “Alright, I’ll try to get some rest,” Kyungsoo sighs, reassuring the other that he’s fine. He then slips on a pair of sunglasses and slips his eyes shut. He doubts he will be able to sleep anyways.  _ Might as well pretend. _

 

Kyungsoo must have underestimated how tired his mind is because he jolts awkwardly some time later when Sehun yells out “Appa!” suddenly and runs towards him. He must have dozed off to the lullaby of crashing waves and seagulls.

 

His face colours a little when he spots Seungsoo and his sister-in-law, who were sitting right next to him, snort in amusement. Baekhyun and Chanyeol were sitting by this pretty impressive-looking sandcastle, watching Sehun run over to Kyungsoo. How long has he been asleep for?

 

“Look! I found a starfish, Appa!”

 

Kyungsoo shrieks when a grinning Sehun drops the blue starfish on his own head without care and rearranges his fringe, like the creature is meant to be a hair  accessory.  _ What if it’s one of those venomous ones? _ Though small and pretty, he can’t be sure.

 

“What are you doing? Don’t put it on your head, Sehun!” He tries to snatch it off, but his four-year old giggles and jumps out of reach.

 

“It’s okay, Soo. It’s a harmless species,” Seungsoo cuts in.

 

“Yeah, Appa! It’s so pretty,” Sehun dances right up to him and strikes a pose. “Take a picture of me please. I want to show Daddy when he comes home! Quick.” He smiles.

 

Kyungsoo’s heart warms and he digs into his bag for the bulky camera he’s kept for years. Trust his son to cheer him up and make him forget his worries so easily. He finds himself laughing the most in recent months snapping shots of his son having fun — shots of him scaring Baekhyun with the starfish, his shocked face when a big wave threatens to destroy his beautiful sandcastle, and his ugly crying face when the sandcastle actually crumbles, not because of a wave, but because of Chanyeol’s clumsiness.

 

Their time at the beach comes to an end after Seungsoo helps take a picture of Sehun planting a kiss on Kyungsoo’s cheek. He’s sure once the film is developed, the photo will come out looking just like the photo he has of Jongin kissing him on their bed, the night before they separated.  

 

“Come on, I’ll send you guys home,” Chanyeol offers when they leave the beach. They wave goodbye to Seungsoo and Haeun and begin their walk through the flea market. “Your bicycle should fit in the trunk.”

 

He was talking to Sehun when he bumps into the back of Baekhyun for the latter had stopped in the middle of the path suddenly before whirling around to face the father and son pair. 

 

“Kyungsoo!” Baekhyun squeaks. Sehun giggles when his father lets out a deep grunt and rubs at his nose.

 

“What?” Kyungsoo scowls and tries to take a look over Baekhyun’s shoulder, at the small stand the latter and Chanyeol has stopped in front of. Baekhyun’s eyes are all shifty and his husband is unusually quiet; Kyungsoo has a bad feeling in his gut all of a sudden. 

 

Stacks of newspapers are what Kyungsoo first sees.

 

“I think you should read this,” Baekhyun says in a quiet voice. Kyungsoo accepts the roll of this evening’s papers pushed to his hands and flips it over.

 

His heart almost stops beating.

 

**Waves of Bombings along the Korean Border! Allied Party taken by Surprise. Tens of Thousands Civilians and Military Personnel Feared Dead.**

 

 

***

 

 

For the first time in a long while, Kyungsoo picks up the remote control for the television set and turns it on. He’s reminded once again why he doesn’t watch the news often when he sees the coverage of the Korean war on some channels. The imagery is enough to draw nightmares.  

 

_ Please.  _

 

Kyungsoo cups his hands over his mouth and watches the reporter on the news share the latest from the surprise attack on the eastern frontier. There’s even a small box at the top left of the screen flashing numbers, and although he’s not familiar with the english language, he knows it’s the projected death count. 

 

And the numbers keep rising. 

 

_ Please. No.  _

 

Kyungsoo realises it’s a delayed broadcast halfway through, which means the bombings actually happened the day before. Coincidentally, it’s also the day Jongin missed his call. 

_ “Don’t think it’ll be much longer now, Soo,” Jongin reassures him. “Father has a plan. Within a month, we’ll be moving East and striking them where it really hurts. That should be the finishing line. Wait for me, okay? Wait for me, Sehunnie. Daddy will see Sehunnie real soon.” _

 

He knows this could mean anything, but he can’t help but draw the parallels. A tear falls from Kyungsoo’s eyes before more follow, but he quickly covers his mouth to muffle the sound of him crying. Sehun had already fallen asleep upstairs and he wasn’t planning to wake his son up. 

 

Sehun mustn’t know. 

 

His little boy can’t know his Daddy might break his promise to come home soon. 

 

_ Where are you, Jongin? You can’t die. Please tell me you’re alive and well somewhere.  _ Kyungsoo turns off the television. He can’t take it anymore. 

 

There are barely any stars left in the jar now; approximately twenty or so. He walks over to the jar, lifts it and gives it a light shake. Sehun has been eagerly opening up a star each night, reading his Daddy’s declarations of love. He needs to buy time if he doesn’t want Sehun counting down the final days yet, because what happens then if Jongin doesn’t make it back in time for the last one? Sehun will be heartbroken. He doesn’t want that.  

 

Kyungsoo knows what needs to be done after a moment of careful consideration. He should make a trip to the flea market after sending Sehun to pre-school in the morning.  

 

“Please. God, I pray that you keep Jongin safe. He must be alive, please. I need him. Sehun needs him,” Kyungsoo says his prayers when he turns in for the night some hours later. 

 

Of course, sleep doesn’t come easy for him that night. 

  
  
  


***

  
  


_ Need to make this quick…  _ It’s almost dinner time, which means Sehun will wake from his nap soon. 

 

Kyungsoo bites down on his bottom lip and focuses. He studies the way Jongin curls his S _ s  _ and K _ s _ , and pens down what he sees on his own strip of coloured paper carefully. 

 

_ It isn’t bad.  _ Kyungsoo thinks his handwriting can easily pass off as Jongin’s. “Now, which side do I start folding...” He struggles to read the instruction manual, fully dependent on the tiny pictures he sees of the detailed steps to folding an origami star. 

 

Topping up the stars in Jongin’s promise jar — it’s the only way he knows to protect Sehun for now. 

 

On one hand, it appears a method to buy Jongin more time. On the other, it’s also one of Kyungsoo’s coping mechanisms; an excuse to believe his husband isn’t dead and will come home eventually. 

 

Afterall, this afternoon’s news had reported a resurgence for the South Korean Armed Forces in North territory. Kyungsoo wants to think Jongin is a part of those that had survived the fight in the East. 

 

He cracks a small smile and dumps the folded star into the jar after he slots the stray end into a tight fold, completing the origami. It fits right in; his star amongst Jongin’s. He quickly picks out a couple more strips and gets to the writing. 

 

He hasn’t received any calls for about a week now, neither from Jongin himself nor the Armed Forces and Hospital. Kyungsoo thinks no calls could also be good news of sorts? 

 

“What are you doing, Appa?” 

 

Kyungsoo startles. He hadn’t heard his son coming down the stairs. 

 

“Nothing!” Kyungsoo panics and quickly gathers the slips of paper on the coffee table before dumping it into the paper bag by his feet. “Are you hungry already?” He kicks the bag under the couch as subtly as he can when he stands. “Come, let’s go eat.” 

 

Sehun ducks under his arms when he reaches out for him and makes his way to the couch, and Kyungsoo can only watch on nervously. His fountain pen and Jongin’s opened promise jar still sits at the center of the coffee table.  _ Good job, Kyungsoo.  _ He curses and berates himself. 

 

“Why were you writing on Daddy’s stars?” Sehun crouches down to hug Jongin’s promise jar, as if guarding it, and peers up at Kyungsoo. When the latter remains silent, simply at a loss as to what to say, Sehun settles on the floor and digs into the bag under the couch. 

 

“These are Appa’s stars, not Daddy’s?” Sehun asks. “What happened to Daddy’s stars?” The expression on his face was already beginning to crumple, much like the moments before he cries. His boy has always been too smart. 

 

“Oh Sehunnie…” Kyungsoo drops to the floor and gathers Sehun into his arms. The four-year old was already crying. 

 

“Appa lied right? Daddy didn’t call when I was in pre-school,” Sehun wails. “Appa lied! Where’s Daddy? I want Daddy!” He yells. “I want Daddy to come home.”  

 

“I don’t know. I’m sorry.” Kyungsoo tries to stop Sehun’s tears, but as he wipes the boy’s face, he feels tears of his own falling on his own cheeks too. 

 

“Daddy doesn’t want me anymore. He won’t come ho—” 

 

“Don’t you say that!” Kyungsoo scolds, pulling away to stare Sehun in the eyes. “Don’t you ever say that again.” Sehun sniffles. “He loves you. He will come home.”

 

_ He loves me. He will come home.  _ Kyungsoo himself hopes.

 

“He must.” 

  
  
  


*** 

  
  


Kyungsoo wakes right as the last ring echoes in the quiet room. He takes a second to gather his senses, and then he realises what had woken him up. Sehun was still asleep in his arms; they had fallen asleep on the couch last night, but his son’s position on his chest doesn’t stop him from jerking upright. 

 

Sehun startles awake and whines, rolling over to the side to continue sleeping when Kyungsoo slides off the couch and kneels in front of the coffee table.  

 

It seems the day has finally arrived. 

 

Kyungsoo picks up his phone with shaky hands and stares down at the display screen with dread. 

 

It’s a missed call from Hanyang Hospital. 

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


This isn’t how he wanted Jongin to come home. 

 

Sehun, who was dressed up formally for the occasion by his father, gives in to his tired legs and sits on Kyungsoo’s feet, letting out an impatient whine. But the latter never stops staring out at the horizon. 

 

They are one of a few Korean families gathered and waiting on the tarmac for the plane from the Republic of Korea Armed Forces to arrive. The atmosphere was almost sombre, and there are even a few women who are already quietly crying into their handkerchiefs to the side.  

 

The Allied Party had won the war; the enemy forces had been heavily defeated at the great battle of the yellow sea, which had eventually led to a full surrender. Finally. Finally, the war is over. South Korea had defended its land. It had lasted far too long, killing far too many people, just because of one man’s greed — the North’s dictator.  

 

“I see it!” A sudden shout captures everyone’s attention at once. Sure enough, Kyungsoo sees the outline of a plane descending from the layer of clouds above. 

 

“Appa, is Daddy here?” He feels Sehun tugging on his pants and he bends down to pick up his son. 

 

“Yes, Daddy’s home, Sehunnie,” Kyungsoo says in a quiet voice. 

 

His son pats his cheeks and traces his eyebags with his short stubby fingers. “You look ugly, Appa,” Sehun comments. “But I still love you!” The four-year old rushes to add, worried he’d hurt his father’s feelings. 

 

Kyungsoo’s mind can’t even wrap itself around what Sehun had just said. All he can think about now is Jongin, Jongin, and Jongin. He bites down on his bottom lip, heart growing heavier and heavier as the plane lands on the runway some distance away before it comes towards them. Sehun gives up trying to grab his father’s attention and turns to stare at the approaching plane as well. The sombre mood of the people around him has finally registered in the four-year old’s mind and he falls silent. 

 

When Kyungsoo had returned the call from Hanyang Hospital the day before, he was almost sure he would hear condolences. 

 

The group inches forward when the plane comes to a standstill and a member of staff beckons for them step forward. Kyungsoo can’t bring himself to stand in front of the group so he loiters near the back even though his heart yearns for Jongin who is in that plane. 

 

When the plane’s hatch opens and the first coffin, wrapped in the national flag of the Republic of Korea, is rolled out, that's when the cries pick up again. “Corporal Lee Yunshik’s family. Please step forward,” an officer from the Armed Forces calls out. 

 

Kyungsoo watches on silently as the crying ladies from before walk out to receive their slain loved one, and when Sehun lets out a tiny whimper in his arms, no doubt watching the heartbreaking scene as well, Kyungsoo buries his face in his son’s neck and comforts him. 

 

One by one the coffins keep coming out of the plane and each family is given several minutes to grieve before they are escorted off the tarmac and towards a waiting vehicle.

 

Kyungsoo’s hold on Sehun grows tighter by the minute as he countdowns to his reunion with Jongin, until finally, he sees a group of men alighting off the plane; amongst them a familiar face. 

 

He hasn't seen his husband in three years, but now he can see the accumulated hurt and the toll the war has taken on Jongin in the latter's face and body. 

 

Jongin hasn't seen him and Sehun yet though. The group accompanying Jongin separates a couple of meters away from Kyungsoo, perhaps to give them some time to themselves, and that's when Jongin finally looks up. 

 

That's the face of a man who has won the war, but yet lost everything.

 

“Jongin,” a sob is wrangled from Kyungsoo’s mouth as he takes a slow step forward to his husband. 

 

“Long time no see, my love,” Jongin greets him in a soft but gruff voice, tears glistening in his eyes as well. The other then looks at Sehun with so much pride in his eyes. 

 

When Kyungsoo remembers he has their son with him, he quickly sets the boy down on his feet and gives him an encouraging nudge on the back. “Go say hi to Daddy,” Kyungsoo says. 

 

He had expected Sehun to run over to Jongin excitedly. Instead, Sehun clings to his legs shyly and glances up. “That’s Daddy?” He asks. Kyungsoo sees Jongin’s face fall.

 

They can’t blame Sehun; Jongin looks different from his past photos, and he even sounds different on the phone. “Yes that's Daddy, baby. Go on.” Kyungsoo nods. Sehun glances over at Jongin once more with curious eyes. 

 

“Daddy?” He whispers, as if for a final confirmation. 

 

It's then that Jongin spreads his arms out wide and calls for the four-year old. “It’s me, little one. Come, let me see you,” he says. 

 

_ Little one.  _ It’s the endearment his Daddy uses on him all the time. 

 

All reservations set aside, Sehun runs over to Jongin immediately. “Daddy! You came home, Daddy! You didn't forget me,” the boy yells out with pure happiness shining through his eyes before coming to a standstill in front of Jongin. Sehun cocks his head and observes the funny-looking chair his Daddy is sat in, but he loses interest in it fairly quickly when Jongin picks him up and settles him on his lap. 

 

“How can I forget about you, little one?” Jongin kisses Sehun on the top of his head. “I thought of nothing but you and your Appa every day,” he says. 

 

Sehun wraps his hands around Jongin’s neck and beams up at him before glancing over at Kyungsoo. “Appa?” The boy calls out, a tad worried as to why his Appa wasn't coming to join them. 

 

“Coming, baby.” Kyungsoo wipes his tears away and walks over, melting under the heavy stare of Jongin. “I missed you,” he says to his husband. “So, so much,” he adds before bending down to finally kiss Jongin. 

 

He has missed this so much — the feel of Jongin’s lips on his, and the other’s warm breath on him when they pull apart. Jongin’s lips were more chapped then he remembered, but the piece of affection still feels so right. “Thank you,” Kyungsoo whispers with his forehead still pressed against Jongin’s. 

 

_ Thank you, God, for bringing him home alive.  _

 

“Thank you for coming back to me,” he says this while looking deep into Jongin’s eyes. 

 

Jongin caresses Kyungsoo’s cheek and smiles when the latter nuzzles into his touch. “I promised, didn't I?” He says. 

 

Their small little moment was then disrupted when Sehun let out an excited squeal. The boy, who had been trapped between Kyungsoo and Jongin's bodies, had been watching his parents’ lovey-dovey display over his head. 

 

“I want kisses too! Many, many kisses!” Sehun declares, using his hands to draw a huge circle in the air. And who are Kyungsoo and Jongin to deny their precious son?

 

Afterwards, Jongin has to lean heavily onto Kyungsoo for support when getting into the car that has been chartered for them. It takes them several minutes for what should be an easy task. But no matter how the inconvenience frustrates and tires them, they don't utter a single word of complaint. Even Sehun waits patiently, only climbing onto Jongin's lap, plastering himself to his Daddy, when the latter is settled in the vehicle. It seems the boy refuses to leave Jongin's side now; probably afraid that his Daddy will be taken from him again.

 

Temporary paralysis to the lower body, that's what the Doctors from Hanyang had shared with Kyungsoo. They had sounded pretty confident that Jongin would recover fully after several rounds of intense therapy, and after recovering from the shock and recognising that it could have been much worse, Kyungsoo is nothing but thankful. 

 

Kyungsoo joins them in the backseat after folding Jongin’s wheelchair and propping it in the trunk, and he finds Sehun in the midst of telling Jongin all about his teacher Baekhyun and the latter’s husband, Chanyeol. It seems the boy is determined to talk his father’s ears off for missing the past few years of his life. But when Kyungsoo makes to tell Sehun to give Jongin some rest time, the latter shushes him and urges their son to carry on. 

 

“It's okay, let him talk,” Jongin whispers to Kyungsoo. “I want to hear everything.” His hand finds his husband’s and Jongin gives it a warm squeeze, which draws a smile from Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo knows this is him attempting to catch up on the past.

 

“Listen to me, Daddy,” Sehun’s sudden loud whine makes them laugh and the boy pouts. Apparently, the four-year old is a little miffed Jongin keeps looking over to Kyungsoo and isn't paying enough attention to him. “Me first, then Appa,” Sehun demands.

 

“Okay, okay. Yes, sir!” Jongin says jokingly, a wide smile on his face, when their son holds his cheeks and tries to bring him closer so his full attention is on the boy. (No Appa allowed). 

 

And Kyungsoo should feel jealous, but his cheeks ache with amusement and his heart warms with the abundance of love for his two boys. 

 

He had thought there might be some awkwardness when Sehun finally meets Jongin face-to-face, but there was none of that; their boy is clearly smitten with his Daddy, probably because he had spent most his life yearning to meet him. 

 

Everything was falling into place nicely. 

 

Kyungsoo thinks their story deserves a happy ending, doesn't it?

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


It's clear a day or two after returning home that Jongin is not the man he used to be.

 

His husband wakes up because of nightmares some nights and Kyungsoo catches Jongin staring off into the distance, mind clearly absent from the present, sometimes.

 

This evening is no different. 

 

“Jongin, let’s go to sleep. Sehun’s already tucked into bed,” Kyungsoo says in a soft voice, stepping out from behind the door where he has been watching for the past few minutes before walking over to his husband who was sitting on his wheelchair. Jongin had been staring out of their bedroom window for awhile now, having seemingly not moved from when Kyungsoo had left to coax Sehun to bed. 

 

The other jolts and makes a small noise when he’s called, but otherwise he stays silent and allows Kyungsoo to lift him onto their bed. 

 

“I can hear your mind overthinking.” Kyungsoo frowns and strokes Jongin’s hair when the latter cuddles close and props his head on Kyungsoo’s shoulder. “Stop. You're here now… with me and Sehun. You're home, safe,” he says. 

 

“I can't help it,” Jongin sighs and admits in a whisper. “Sometimes I close my eyes and it's like I'm back at the frontline. I hear the bombs going off, the gunfire... I can almost feel the pain.” Kyungsoo can see the fear slowly creeping into Jongin’s eyes again and the latter’s hand sliding down the length of his back before coming to a rest near the tailbone; at his healing wound where the bullet had entered his body. “I want to forgot, Soo. Desperately. But I don't know how… Help me,” he says. 

 

If he can choose to take all the pain away from his husband, Kyungsoo will do it with no hesitation. Trauma is hard to heal, Jongin's doctor had warned when they went for their first medical. And if the soldier is to become better, it will take plenty of time, and of course, support (especially emotional support) from his loved ones. 

 

“I'm here, Jongin. Focus on me. Look at me now,” Kyungsoo urges, tilting Jongin's face up so he can slide their lips together. He will do anything to distract the other, even if it only brings temporary relief. 

 

Kyungsoo claims success when Jongin starts to kiss back after a moment. “I love you,” he murmurs against the other’s lips when they separate, but only for an inch, their warm breaths mingling in the aftermath of their kiss. 

 

“Love you too,” Jongin replies in a heartbeat. “Don’t know where I’ll be without you, my love… You were the reason why I persevered through all those years of fighting, because I’d promised I’d come back. Even now, you and Sehun are the ones keeping me sane, and piecing me back together. I know I haven’t been acting myself lately, but I’m trying,” he says. “Wait for me.” 

 

“I know,” Kyungsoo hums. “I'll be with you, every step of the way. Sehun too. We'll heal you.”

 

Jongin sighs and pulls Kyungsoo’s body closer if possible, as if the latter is the lifeline he so desperately needs to survive. “I cut it real close, didn't I?” Jongin asks. “I saw my promise jar in the living room and it was almost empty.” Kyungsoo's head naturally tilts down so his lips rest on his husband’s forehead. 

 

“But you made it back before we read the last of your stars. You kept your promise, Jongin. That's all that matters,” he says. “Now sleep.” Kyungsoo cradles Jongin's head and slips his own eyes shut, coaxing the other to follow suit by softly breaking out into one of Sehun's nursery tunes. 

 

He knows Jongin blames himself for not coming home earlier; Jongin believes he had failed them for not being around; he had failed his duty as a father and husband. That's why Kyungsoo is doing everything he can to assure his husband otherwise.

 

The soldier obviously blames himself for missing out on all the moments they could have had as a family during these past years. Jongin had cried when he first saw the many photos of Kyungsoo and Sehun in the living room, more specifically those photos with just the two in them. The missing piece in those photos is glaringly obvious — him. 

 

Kyungsoo wants to prove to Jongin that their future holds even more endless opportunities for them to build happy memories together. 

 

And he knows just how. 

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


**January, 1974**

 

“Daddy! Daddy, wake up. Daddy!” 

 

Jongin stirs to an excited voice by his bedside. 

 

“Daddy. Hi!” Sehun, who's too short so only the top of his head can be seen over the edge of the bed, waves when he sees Jongin peeping his eyes open to squint in his direction. The boy then runs over to the door and sticks his head out into the hallway. “Appa, Daddy’s awake! Can we go now?” He yells. 

 

Kyungsoo isn't in the room and Jongin can hear faint sounds coming from below so he assumes his husband is busy in the kitchen.

 

“After lunch!” Kyungsoo yells back a second later. “The food’s ready. I’ll come up in a bit.”

 

Seemingly satisfied with that answer, Sehun hurries back to Jongin’s side. “Up!” The four-year old demands, while patting the comforter on the bed. Apparently, Sehun's legs are too short for him to climb onto his parents’ bed on his own too. 

 

Jongin chuckles and rolls over before sitting up on the bed. “Where are we going, little one?” He picks up his son by the armpits and deposits him on his lap. 

 

“The beach!” Sehun claps his hands together excitedly and looks up at Jongin with a pout. “I’ve been waiting all morning for you to wake up so we can go together, but Appa said to let you rest more,” he whines. 

 

Jongin glances at the time to find it’s already past noon. It’s the first time he had slept peacefully throughout the night after being back. 

 

“I’m sorry, baby. Let’s go eat now and leave soon, okay?” Jongin plants a kiss on Sehun’s head, and when the child breaks out into a wide smile, he knows he’s forgiven. 

 

“Okay!” Sehun hovers around Jongin when he pulls himself onto his wheelchair, seemingly wanting to help his father, but not knowing how. Nonetheless, Jongin thanks him and lets the boy push him towards the bathroom (it’s really just Jongin wheeling himself there, pretending that Sehun’s arms are strong enough to move the wheelchair). Sehun looks so proud of himself, and Jongin is overwhelmed by the love he feels for his little boy. 

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


“Don’t you dare, Soo!” Jongin warns. 

 

“What?” Kyungsoo’s face is a picture of innocence, but then his lips curl up into a smirk and he winks at a giggling Sehun, which betrays his true intentions. 

 

“Oh my god,” Jongin lets out a groan when Kyungsoo carries him closer and closer to the edge of the water. He knows what’s going on; he recalls a particular phone call in the past. 

 

_ “How about we work together to throw Appa in the water?”  _

 

“You’re supposed to work with me to throw Appa in, little one. How dare you turn on me?” Jongin folds his arms across his chest and sends Sehun a withering glare, but they all know he’s just joking. The boy giggles and joins Mongmool and Hoochoo in running circles around his fathers. They had stopped by Kyungsoo’s parents’ house earlier to pick the two puppies up, both who are now nipping at Kyungsoo’s feet playfully. 

 

“Soo…” Jongin tries to plead his husband once more when he sees Sehun is of no help, but it’s too late. Kyungsoo merely chuckles and drops him in the shallow waters (although slowly and gently). “One more month till I can walk again. Just you wait. I’ll get you next time,” he huffs out later, pushing his wet fringe out of his eyes. 

 

The doctors are very happy with Jongin’s recovery, and Kyungsoo cannot be more proud of his husband who has been diligently undergoing rehabilitation. 

 

Before Jongin knows it, he has a lapful of Sehun and hyperactive puppies. “Say cheese, Daddy!” Sehun yells at him suddenly and squeezes their faces together, and Jongin’s mind hasn’t even wrapped itself around the boy’s words when there’s a blinding flash in his eyes. He squawks. It appears that his husband has just snapped a timely photo. Jongin whines at Kyungsoo who is laughing his head off. He knows he must look ridiculous in the photo. 

 

“What’s with the camera?” He whines and tries to hide his face behind his hands when he sees Kyungsoo lifting it up again and attempting to snap another shot of him in the sea. “I must look ugly.”

 

“Nonsense! You look as dashing as always. It will turn out lovely, I just know it,” Kyungsoo ignores his complaints and stuffs the camera into his big bag. Jongin doesn’t know why he had insisted on dragging out such a bulky item to the beach. What the hell is even in there besides their dry clothes and packed snacks? Kyungsoo smiles gently at Jongin and says, “Let’s take more photos later, with the three of us. I want to fill our house with new memories.” 

 

He knows now the meaning behind Kyungsoo’s insistence to take photos of their happy time at the beach. Jongin feels tears welling up in his eyes, touched by his husband. This is another one of Kyungsoo’s ways to make him feel better about himself. He knows it. 

 

When before there were glaring holes of his absence in the photos decorating their home, now there will be a complete family. 

 

Jongin  _ is  _ a part of this family. Always has and always will be. 

 

Kyungsoo has been trying to show and tell him this all these while. It was his insecurities that had blinded him previously. Jongin is undeserving of his husband’s love. 

 

The other helps him out of the water and dries him off afterwards. “Thank you—” Jongin cups Kyungsoo’s face and strokes his cheek with his thumb, “—for everything. You and Sehun are the greatest blessings of my life,” he says. 

 

Kyungsoo blushes but stares right back at him. It is their son who disrupts their moment a minute later when he grows upset that his parents aren’t paying him any attention. 

 

“We made you something, Daddy!” Sehun interrupts, purposely climbing onto Jongin’s lap so that he blocks his view of Kyungsoo. The little bugger even sticks his tongue out at Kyungsoo after succeeding in capturing Jongin’s full attention. “Take it out, Appa,” Sehun tells him. Kyungsoo rolls his eyes at his son’s childish display. He can already imagine Sehun cockblocking them in the future. But Kyungsoo does as he is told and reaches into his bag to take out a familiar promise jar. 

 

A promise jar that is now filled to the brim with origami stars. 

 

Jongin’s eyes widen and he looks to Kyungsoo for an explanation. “What did you guys do to it?” He asks, taking great care in holding the glass jar carefully when Kyungsoo hands it over to him. It looks much more beautiful, now that it’s full again. 

 

“Kim Jongin,” Kyungsoo starts off with a serious tone. Jongin sits a little straighter and acknowledges his husband with a soft hum. “When you gave us this promise jar, you told us how much you love us and spoke of our future together after you come home each and every single day.” Jongin nods lightly. 

 

“Now this is our answer to your stars.” Kyungsoo nods encouragingly and Jongin pops open the jar to pick one out. 

 

“I helped Appa fold this, Daddy,” Sehun cuts in suddenly, looking at Jongin expectantly like he’s fishing for a compliment. Of course Jongin indulges him with a kiss to the head and the boy returns to playing with the puppies lying near his feet with a happy smile on his face. 

 

Kyungsoo and Jongin share a laugh. 

 

“It’s like they say—” the latter reads out loud from the slip of paper after unfolding it, “—it’s a simple life, a simple love. It’s enough.” He looks up at Kyungsoo questioningly. “The end.”

 

“That’s the last line in my new book,” Kyungsoo explains. “The book I’ve been working on from when you left.” 

 

“It’s completed?” Jongin looks delighted on his behalf. The other knows just how much he had struggled to write this. 

 

Kyungsoo nods. “It’s a happy ending,” he says.

 

_ Like our story.  _

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment and kudo if you enjoyed it somewhat?  
> See you at Reveals~


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